So I'm sitting here dreaming about the summer and all the wonderful thing I'll be doing at this time in 6 months. First of all it won't be dark at this time which I would love right about now. Second I could walk outside to have a cigarette without freezing and shivering. I hate being a smoker and I hate it all the more when its the winter. I could take interesting pictures that aren't all white and snowy. There are a lot of things that I miss right now about the summer but of course I can't change the weather and I obviously am not going to move right this minute so I guess I'll shut up and write about something else.
Things have been very slow at work and I have only been working about one day a week. Thankfully I at least have that one day a week to survive on. Its hard and it takes a lot of money saving shortcuts like shoplifting-what? Just kidding! No, recently Reina has been calling me a little bit Jewish, but when you only have $60 to live on for a week it take a little Jewishness to make it through the week, let me tell you honey. Hehehe! Plus when you spend all your extra money on books it goes fast. It also doesn't help that I can go through a four hundred page book in a one day of laying around the apartment. I think I may have to pull out some books I've already read and reread them because I just don't have the money to spend on reading new books right now. The one good side to not working a lot is all the time I've been spending with Lola and I love spending time with that little 6 year old. She is so sweet and funny and she usually has Reina and I laughing hysterically at her most of the day. I am so lucky to have her around me everyday. Its a joy and a privilege.
I did my first photo shoot with Steph and Vin for their engagement pictures on Saturday. I think they turned out great and I can't wait to work on them and get them looking perfect. I feel confident about doing this for people I know and making their pictures great. I have another photo shoot with a pregnant mom and her daughter at the end of the month and I am so looking forward to it. Steph and her Mom and I went wedding dress shopping after we did the photo shoot and the first dress Steph tried on was the perfect one! It was so beautiful to see her dressed like that and finally realize she really is getting married and soon! I also found my dress for the wedding because she has us all wearing different dresses but in the same color. I felt very beautiful in it and am looking forward to wearing it.
I have been brainstorming on what I could do to meet new guys and I am coming up with blanks. I don't have the money to do a Match.com thing and I refuse to go to a bar to meet men. Reina says that if I shaved my legs maybe guys would talk to me and I say that's ridicules because they don't know I don't shave my legs. Heehee! Anyway, if you have any ideas please share them with me because I am ready to start dating seriously and I'm sick of weekends going by where I have nothing to do because all my girlfriends have boyfriends. (Except you Jess, but you're always busy!) Not that I have any money to go out with but hey, that's what the men are for right?!
I hope you all are weathering the winter well and hope your dreams of summer are as lovely as mine are. The good thing with seasons is that they are a guarantee when so many things in life are not. Thank God for that. Smile and be happy, because although everything may look shitty now there's no way it can just stay that way indefinitely. It always has to eventually get better!
So the new year has come and gone with out much of a fuss. I fell asleep before the ball dropped and Reina says she let out a small Yay and then settled down and finished her painting for the night. It was a quiet New Years Eve, with Reina and I having dinner together and me reading silently and Reina painting the woman she dislikes the most in the world's face(unintended of course). The following days since have passed without anything remarkable happening and I have to admit I feel no different than I did in 2010. Maybe that's why we make such a big deal out of New Years Eve so we can remember that we marked the day the year ended. Sitting quietly at home does nothing to mark the change. But it's all I had to work with. Lola's 6th Birthday is in three days and I'm so excited to celebrate with her and the family up in New York for the day. It should be a great time. I spent way too much money on her presents but I truly cannot help myself when it comes to her and moderation. I show my love with gifts and cards and I always have. I don't think it's something I can stop now. Maybe when Lola gets older I'll be able to control myself better?! Work has slowed to a crawl and things are tight. I was hoping to save for a computer in the next couple of months but having no work means I need to spend the money I do have on just surviving the winter. Reina is getting bigger and more beautiful with each passing week and soon enough we will be throwing her a baby-shower to remember. I guess I should start planing that now?! I have a couple wonderful opportunities to take pictures of people coming up this month so I am happy to start working on those projects. Engagements and baby-bellies. Yay! I don't know how the pictures will turn out but the experience should be worth it in the end. I hope I do them justice and they get the pictures they want and need from me. Mentally I am feeling a little bit numb. So many crazy unpredictable things have happened in the past few months that it has left me totally without feelings. No anger or sadness or joy. Just numb. I think I should probably talk to someone about that! Anyway, the New Year is here and as far as I can tell nothing has changed for the better or the worse. Just the last number in the date is different. Hopefully this feeling of numbness will wear off and I can experience some joy in the New Year. I am in desperate need of it! Happy New Year to you!
